Q:I am a 21 years old and just joined a job. I have frequent wet dreams most of the days. I am highly worried because of this problem. Please suggest a remedy to solve this problem?
A:Wet dreams are a part of growing up process. It is a normal physiological phenomenon. You need not worry about such happening and you may not require any medical help.
Q: I am taking Tablet Tazzle 10 mg for last 4 years and enjoying sex, but still suffering from premature ejaculation. I want to know whether Dapox will solve my both problem or should I take both at a time? Please help me.
A:Tazzle contains Tadalafil, you may continue that. Please do not take more than 1 tablet in 24 hours. Tazzle will help in increasing the rigidity and hardness of penis, but has no effect whatsoever on the ejaculation. You may take Dapoxetine 60 mg along with Tazzle with a glass of water. Tazzle will help in better rigidity and Dapoxetine will help in delaying your orgasm/ejaculation.
Q:We are married for two years and have a beautiful daughter. My wife is 30 years old and she seems disinterested in sex. We sometimes don’t have sex continuously for 2-3 months or so as she says she is not in the mood and she finds it difficult to get aroused. I have tried fantasies, adult movies and all sorts of techniques hut it does not have the desired effect. She says she has never climaxed, even by way of masturbation. What should I do?
A:Your wife’s lack of /low interest in sex may be due to a combination of the following Physical Problems:
Any chronic diseases, hormonal imbalances, usage of prescription drugs, alcohol and narcotic drug addiction etc.
Poor interpersonal communications/ relationship
You ejaculating prematurely.
My suggestion to you is to meet a competent Sex Therapist nearest to you to find a solution to this problem.
Q: I am 33 years old and married man. We have a 2-year-old daughter and my wife is pressurising me to have a second child but my problem is that I am not having interest in sex. Please suggest any medicine to improve my sexual life.
A:One needs to find what the exact cause of losing the sexual desire. Is it monotony, or lack of response from the partner or increased social or financial problems, depression is another common cause for the decline of sexual desire. Sometimes dislike of the partner, dislike of the partner’s body odour or even dislike of the partner’s behaviour could be responsible for decline in sexual desire. Sometimes partner’s infidel behaviour may be the cause. The ideal way to treat this is to find the cause and treat it. You can make use of fantasy at the moment because for most people fantasies are always more colourful than realities. The other alternative would be to do sensate focus exercises; these are pleasuring sessions devised by well-known US authorities Masters and Johnson. This involves sensuous interplay by avoiding sexual interactions. Intercourse is forbidden initially and the couple is immersed in a situation of total physical intimacy which involves a lot of sensuous touch. The emphasis is whatever is sensual could be sexual. I do not want to advise any medicine to you because some of the medicines advocated to increase the sexual desire can itself paralyze the sexual system and when one can solve the problem without the drugs why use them.
Q:I am a 58 year old man. My wife is 52. We have an active sex life. But I am unable to satisfy my wife according to her needs. What should be done to get a strong erection? I am not hypertensive or diabetic. I don’t drink or smoke. If Viagra is the solution, can you suggest the dosage and direction?
A:There are various reasons for not getting a rigid erection. These can be either physical or psychological. Unless he causative factor(s) is identified, I will not be able to suggest an appropriate management strategy. Since your age is 58, you may be undergoing ‘Andropause’. In this condition there will be an age related decrease in the testosterone levels. This condition requires Androgen Replacement Therapy, provided there are no contraindications. Yes. ‘Sildenafil Citrate’ (Viagra) may be the solution. But this medicine has to be used only under medical supervision. I suggest that you consult your doctor in person.
Q:I have had sex with three different women with a two days gap between each act. Now I am worried that I might get AIDS. What should I do??
A:Yes, the chances of contracting HIV infection are more when you have sex with multiple partners. But the qualifier is that one or all these partners should already be infected. If none of them were infected then your risk is nil. If you had used condoms then the risk is negligible. However the best way to know is to get a blood test known as HIV-DNA/ PCR done. This special test can detect the presence of the virus in a person’s body as early as 72 hours after the sexual act. Please understand that ‘Sex is fun when it is only with one’.
Q: I have a BF who loves me a lot and we had sex several times but we may not marry with each other. Please clarify whether my husband (after marriage) will come to know if I had sex in the past or not?
A: No, it’s not possible find out whether you are virgin or not unless reveal it to your husband.
Q:When my penis gets erect, it suddenly ejaculates. I tried having intercourse twice with my girlfriend. The first time, when she held my penis in her hand, I ejaculated. The second time it happened was when I touched her vagina, I ejaculated once again. My penis size is about four inches when erect and two inches when it is normal. Kindly let me how I can control this process?
A:You seem to be experiencing ‘Premature Ejaculation.’ This may be due to high levels of sexual excitement in you. Sex appears to be a new experience for you and the thrill of obtaining the forbidden (Premarital sex) is resulting in high levels of anticipatory anxiety. This will eventually result in premature ejaculation. Do not get worried. As you get used to sex on a regular basis you will be able to delay ejaculation and enjoy the pleasures with your partner. Your penis size seems to be within the normal range. All that a man requires for satisfactory sex (for both partners) is a two inch or five centimetre long penis that too after an erection.
Q:I am 44 year old man. After our second child’s birth, we use condoms regularly. Recently, I used a condom with a cream to increase the erection time. It worked. Are there any side effects in using these condoms?
A:It will be difficult to answer your question without knowing the nature and contents of the cream. If your primary objective is to avoid a pregnancy then using a condom makes sense. If your objective is to delay ejaculation then I would recommend that you consult a specialist in Sexual Medicine.
Q: I am 23 year old newly married woman. I feel severe pain during penetration due to lack of lubrication and I also have burning sensation in the vagina. What should I do?
A: Increase the duration of foreplay till you get lubrication properly or use LUBIC/KY Jelly or pure coconut oil for easy and painless penetration.
Q:I am a 32 year old housewife. My husband is loving and caring. Our relationship is very satisfying. Recently, I had a strange dream in which my husband’s friend approached me and we had sex. I enjoyed an orgasm in my sleep. I’ve never fantasized about anyone except my husband. But now, I feel guilty and worried.
A:It is very difficult to interpret dreams, especially the ones with sexual content. It may be that you are bored with your current sexual life with your husband and hence subconsciously looking for ways to spice it up. At the same time you might have been, of course subconsciously, attracted to certain attributes of your husband’s friend. It is obvious that when these two combine there is the perfect setting for your dream. However, you need not feel guilty. Some amount of fantasizing is common in many people and it’s not harmful as long as it remains in the domain of dream/fantasy only.
Q:I am newly married 24 year old men. I have sex with my wife with or without condoms. She had a regular monthly cycle, but this month she missed her periods. We don’t intend on having children for at least two more years. Please suggest what to do?
A:;First of all, find out whether your wife is pregnant or not. Pregnancy can be confirmed with a home pregnancy test kit. If she is pregnant, then consult a Gynaecologist immediately and undertake a ‘Medical Termination of Pregnancy’ for your wife. If she is not pregnant, the nonappearance of periods may be due to other causes which a Gynaecologist will tell you.
Q: What is the best natural aphrodisiac to increase the sexual desires without side effects?
A: Why artificial aphrodisiacs? Attractive and understanding and affectionate partner with romantic approach is the best one.
Q:I’m a 30 year old married man. I get a white secretion on the head of my penis below my foreskin often. I get red spots on it and the secretion becomes sticky emitting a bad odour and causes irritation too. I clean it whenever it irritates and then the irritation goes away. However, the cycle starts again. Do I need to see a doctor? I also feel that I ejaculate prematurely. Is it related to the above problem?
A:You seem to have a condition known as ‘Balanitis’. In this condition the head of penis (glans) is inflamed either due to infection or irritation. Apart from other reasons, Balanitis itself can result in premature ejaculation. I suggest you consult your doctor in person.
Q: I am a healthy man with age of 52 years. I do regular exercise and eat healthy food. Recently I have been having Erection Problems despite desire. When I take Tablet Pennegra 50mg, it works excellently well. Can I continue the tablet? Can I drink Brandy with the tablet occasionally before sex?
A: If you have no heart problems like High BP, angina or previous heart attacks and if you are getting good erections with Pennegra, you can continue it. Take the tablet on empty stomach or with small snacks for good absorption and better effectiveness. It’s advisable to avoid alcohol with Pennegra tablet.
Q: My GF was delayed to get her periods for more than 14 days…does it mean Pregnancy? Any tablet to terminate this?
A: Pregnancy testing Kits will be available in Medical stores and use them to test whether woman is pregnant or not. If positive, please go to gynaecologist as over the counter tablets are useful and prevent pregnancy if taken within 72 hrs of the unprotected sex.
Q: I am 44 years old. I like sex but will leak out within 2 minutes. Can I use Viagra?
A: Viagra like tablets is for good erection purpose. The drug of choice would be Dapoxetine 60mg one tablet one hour before the act with plain water. The action last for 4 hrs. It delays the ejaculation and orgasm to happen very early. Don’t repeat the tablet within 24hrs.
Q:I am a 27 year old married guy. My wife is 26. We have been married for two months. My problem is that my penis is small in size. My wife always becomes upset due to this. Also, what is best contraceptive method?
A:You have not mentioned the size of the penis. In general all that a man requires is a 2 inch or 5 cms long penis that too in erect state. I do not think that your wife is upset because of your penis size. She must be upset because she is not satisfied with the sexual act. This may be due to anything from premature ejaculation or inadequate foreplay to forcing her when she is not in the mood. It can also be because she suffers from insufficient lubrication, delayed orgasmic response or sexual pain disorder. Without a proper diagnosis it will be difficult for me to offer any worthwhile advice. I suggest that you consult your doctor in person.
Q:I am a 27 year old guy. I have been masturbating for the past five years. The problem is that whenever I masturbate, the next day I suffer from back pain and a dull pain on the left side of the stomach. Moreover, one of my testes is smaller than the other. I am getting married next year. Will I be able to satisfy my wife?
A:In general, masturbation can not cause any of the problems you mentioned. Your back pain may be due to other causes like faulty postures, lifting or carrying heavy weights, and wrong sleeping postures, problems of the spine or constipation. Usually there will be a slight difference in the sizes of testes. Pain in the left side of stomach may be due to amoebic infection or constipation. Without a personal physical examination I will not be able to offer you any worthwhile advice. I suggest that you consult your doctor in person.
Q: Can I take Dapoxetine every alternate day to control PE which is giving good results to me? And can I use that for life time?
A: Yes. You can use one tablet once in maximum once in 24 hrs as long as you want for your sexual needs.
Q: I am 29 years old and having pregnancy 3rd month. If we want to have sex during pregnancy, what are the best positions for sexual intercourse?
A: In the early months of pregnancy, one can have sex in normal positions. In advanced pregnancy, one needs to avoid direct weight/pressure on the foetus so the following positions are recommended:
1. Rear entry (without deep thrusting)
2. Woman on top position
3. Side by side position
4. Woman sitting on man’s lap while man sitting on a chair facing each other.
Q:I am 23 year old woman, married six months ago. Despite all our efforts, my hymen remains unbroken and I hardly feel anything during sex, except a little pain. Any suggestions please?
A:How do you know that your hymen is still ‘unbroken’? Just because you did not experience great pain, you cannot assume that your hymen is intact. The right person to determine the status of your hymen is your doctor. All this becomes significant only when you are sure that sexual intercourse with deep vaginal penetration has taken place. Otherwise you may have to consult a Sexologist to make sure of marriage/sexual consummation.
Q: I am 25 years old and married for 2 months but till date we have not been able to have full penetrative sex. Whenever my husband tries to penetrate, I get scared and I prevent him to enter by closing my legs and thighs with fear. Is it Vaginismus? How to go about it? My husband is frustrated with me.
A: Yes, in Vaginismus, you may have normal sexual desire, you do get wet when aroused and even reach to climax as well on your own, But when your husband makes an attempt to penetrate, something happen to you which you do not realize, then you develop fear which makes you to bring both the legs together unknowingly. In such situations, penetration by your husband becomes too difficult. Usually this subconscious fear of Pain starts due to hearing some stories heard from their friends that at the first attempt, there will be severe pain and bleeding. The same fear leads to anxiety and at the time of penetration which causes involuntary spasms in the outer part of vagina leading to difficulty of penis entry. This fear can be dispelled by clear understanding about human anatomy that the vagina is very elastic and expandable to accommodate penis of normal or even bigger size without any difficulty. The same vagina expands to bigger size even to allow baby to come out during delivery process. With this understanding, you can try dilatation of vagina with a user friendly vaginal dilator. Initially start with a finger and use increasing size of dilators till you reach to the bigger size dilator which is equivalent to the size of your husband’s erect penis. Then you will feel comfortable to allow your husband to penetrate without fear.
Q:We are happily married. Can we have intercourse during my wife’s periods? If not, why? Secondly, I wish to know whether ‘Today’ is a good contraceptive.
A:Yes. You can have intercourse during your wife’s menstrual period provided you don’t have any genital infection. You also should ensure that you don’t have Hepatitis-B and HIV which can be passed on through your semen. ‘Today’ is a good contraceptive. But you should learn to use it properly.
Q:I am a 48 year old man. About eight years ago I was with a woman who was a bit boring. I did not enjoy her company at all. One day, when I tried to mount her I realized that my erection was weak. Since that day I have never had a good erection. I masturbate and that way I get a semi hard erection but not hard enough for intercourse. Could you please advise me?
A:Prima facie it appears to me that your problem is due to ‘performance anxiety’. To begin with, uninspiring company with the ‘boring’ woman affected your erection. The failure on that day must have created anxiety, subconsciously, and you have fallen into the trap of negative feelings of your own erections. However, as you are 48, I suggest that you rule out physical causes like diabetes, hormonal imbalance etc. Some of the BP medicines are known to adversely affect the erectile response. I suggest that you discuss your problem with a Sexologist in person.
Q:I am an oversexed married man of 37 and have been married for the last eight years. My wife is not really interested in sex, so we come together just once a week. But I am not satisfied with her sex appeal or arousing style. I masturbate every day and end up feeling nervous and weak. Please suggest some means of increasing semen stock in my body and getting more power.
A:On what basis do you consider yourself ‘over-sexed’? You and your wife seem to be having different (sexual) response and frequency levels. I suggest that you consult a Sexologist in person. Semen has nothing to do with sexual capacity. So don’t worry about that.
Q: I am 19 years old and my penis is tilting to the left when it is erect and there is a slight bend at the top part as well. Is it dangerous? Am I fit for marriage subsequently? Is it due to masturbatory habit?
A: Slight bent of penis with tilt towards the left or Right and curvature at the end of penis is normal variation. It’s nothing wrong and not due to masturbation, however, you can show up yourself to a sexologist for physical examination also.
Q: I am 46 years old and a widower. Last 2 years I have been observing whenever I masturbate, I’m suffering from lot of body pains particularly in my right leg and lower abdomen. I have been using pain killers, pain balms and oils to relieve pain, but not much benefit. It happens only after masturbation. Please advise.
A: Masturbation is a normal and healthy habit and it won’t cause that kind of body pain and other symptoms you have explained. Relax. At middle age, there is a decline in male sex hormone called testosterone which may lead to low desire, low sperm production, delayed orgasm leading to prolonged periods of masturbation. In that scenario, body muscles may go in more spasms and experience pains and body fatigue before ejaculation. Please take good diet and testosterone rich foods or tablets for it.
Dr. Murthy P. S., MBBS, MD, FIPS,
DR P.S.Murthy, after completion of MBBS in 1979, worked in medical profession for the past 36 years in various parts of India and now settled in Bangalore since 2004. He practiced initially as General Medical Practitioner, and then practiced as Behavioral Scientist & Neuro-Psychiatrist for the past 27 years. Psycho sexual dysfunctions -- resulting psychological stress and their management was the area which was his area of speciality. Besides working as Consultant Psychiatrist in Manipal Hospital, Bangalore & various other medical establishments since 2004, he has been popular and well applauded Sexologist in Bangalore for the past many years. He has worked as Professor & HOD of Psychiatry & Behavioral Medicine departments in various Medical Colleges and extensively participated in various teaching programmes.
Also done STA CERTIFICATION BY ROYAL COLLEGE OF PSYCHIATRISTS, UK
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